Health Issues that don’t require large amounts of money

By: Pearl Omerso (because Pearl has not filter)

June 10, 2019

This is a discussion for the birds, but since we live in a country where even a cracked cuticle has an ICD 10 code (if you don’t believe me, look it up); Diagnosis L08.9, Local infection of the skin, I’m going there. So, in a country where everything has a diagnosis and man boo boo’s dominate a physicians busy 15 minute appointment schedule, yes men, you know you are all a bunch of little bitches when you get a paper cut even though us women have to push a 12 pounder through a 10 cm stretched out vagina. But who’s the weaker sex? Yes, that’s another blog altogether. Anyhow, let’s get back to the useless billing in healthcare, and what some of us well to do tax payers pay for.

A COLD – CODE J00

Stuffy nose, congestion, cough and feeling tired. Men bitch the most about colds. Don’t believe me, check out the British video Man Cold, where a man is mocked to no end about his symptoms. I go to work with a Migraine, but oh no, not a man cold. The debilitating condition that leaves his weak ass in bed for days. Really? Yeap, that ends there. Home remedy…. spring water boiled with cinnamon, lemon and ginger and a tsp of honey. And if you are that bitter cause I just called you a little bitch, yet again, then add a tablespoon of honey and sweeten that shitty mood up. And yes, go to work.

EARWAX – CODE H61.23

Ah, so gross. So yes, people will go to the doctor’s office because they can’t hear. So, when was the last time you showered? OR, better yet, actually washed your ears? And please don’t use the excuse I was told not to use Qtips. It isn’t necessary to perforate your ear drum to remove was people. Actually, a little-known secret, it’s called Debrox, and it is sold over the counter. A home remedy is some warm water drops mixed with hydrogen peroxide. Works like a charm. Please, I really don’t want to pay extra on my taxes next year to unclog your ears.

MY IPHONE TOLD ME I WAS SICK – IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS A CODE, PLEASE, I BEG YOU, STOP READING THIS NOW.

WTF?? Please explain this one to me. If you are depending on your phone apps to measure your blood pressure, pulse, or you can’t sleep, whatever. If this is your source of information, please just make sure you at least have a high school diploma so then I can tell you that, yeah, no. Not it. You might want to back to night school. Just saying.

SPLINTER – CODE S60.459A

Holy shit! I mean seriously? A splinter!! Grab the end of a needle or a pair of tweezers and pluck away dim whit. If I’m an MD and you visit for that, I will tell you to bite it off until you feel something sharp on your tongue dumbass.

YOU TOOK YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER TO THE MD BECAUSE SHE WAS VAGINALLY BLEEDING (I’m not even getting into this one). And if you are a dad, please don’t use that as an excuse. You somehow got mom pregnant, right? (Even if she’s adopted.) Rest my case.

A PIMPLE – CODE L70.9

Yaaassss!! A f’cng pimple people. I have heard of patients going into doctors’ offices to find out how they can cure the “bumps” on their faces.

There it is. Welcome to healthcare in the United States. I don’t know which is worse, the fact we pay taxes toward this shit (for those who can’t afford healthcare), or the fact that some idiot association actually sat down and created codes for them.

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