By: Marylin Salgado
There is nothing worse during the holidays then a busted penis. And trust me, if you can’t deliver a nice yuletide log, Mrs. Clause will not be giving you her cookie. Putting it lightly, don’t make the mistake Eddie Hall did during one of this training days when he dropped a piled load of heavy weights on the leg press and the weights went crashing down and landed on his yes…peck. What a pretty picture; if you hate your man. But not, if you want that organ to play a few times a week.
Anyhow, the former World’s Strongest Man has also been brave enough to lift a kettle ball on his penis and testicles, while another day pushed the weight limits of his legs so hard, he passed out and colored his pants brown. Wow!! This guy has sex appeal written all over himself.
On a more serious note, let us discuss the issue of the busted penis. It is a real thing, by the way guys. It is actually called a fractured penis and it looks disastrous. Mainly happens when sex is too rough or when performing an activity, I can’t imagine what, that causes your penis to bend the wrong way and voila! You have a busted dick!
Unusual scenarios include a blunt blow to the penis during an altercation or while involved in an accident. Medical professionals do say your penis must be erect to be fractured, so I can’t imagine why you have an erection while you are fighting with someone or driving. I’ll leave this one to your imagination.
Usually, I post some really cool pics of strange and unusual things, but I don’t thing TokkyoNutrition will have a social media page if I post a pic of a busted dick on FB or IG, so I’ll let you do the searching, if you are inclined to do so.
Medically speaking, a penile fracture is a tear in the fragile tissue that causes the penis to extend and widen during an erection. If this tissue or the thin tissue below it fractures, yes my friend, you have a busted dick.
A sharp blow to the genitals can also cause this; which allows me to think at this time, I was really good at providing knee blows to really horny teenage boys in high school. I hope they were able to produce one little asshole. Can’t imagine we need more in the world, but there it is. Anyhow, here are some signs of a possible fracture:
- Loud snapping or popping sound.
- Suddenly losing an erection.
- Sudden severe pain.
- Bruise above the injury.
- Bent penis. (Ok sorry, but that one made me laugh!)
- Blood leaking from the penis.
- Hard time passing urine.
- Vaginal intercourse so rough you bend the penis. (Goddamn, that girl better be inflatable.)
- Traumatic Masturbation. (I am not even going to ask.)
- Rare symptoms: swelling in the scrotum or blood in the urine
It is considered a medical emergency and not something you should wait to get treated. I would like to think if you are having that much pain, you will want some relief right away. Sometimes surgical intervention is needed. If you are to afraid or too embarrassed to have it treated, the penis will heal curved and sexual intercourse may no longer be a possibility. Also, you might have permanent issues with urination. There is one set back, even if treated, scar tissue will develop and you might still develop a curved penis.
Home care if surgically treated or if you choose not to go see an MD; can be the following:
- Apply an ice pack for 10 minutes to help reduce swelling.
- You might have an indwelling foley catheter to help empty your bladder while your penis heals.
- Taking anti-inflammatory meds such as Ibuprofen or other medications as prescribed your doctor.
So, if you happen to be in the middle of something; whatever that may be and it sounds like you just popped a tire, run to the Emergency Room. You might just have a busted penis.
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